DATING IN THE WORKPLACE Work can be the ideal environment for falling in love: you are in close proximity for a long period of time, you may have developed a good working partnership, and from there it is a short step to romance. Even if you’re working remotely, you may have enough contact with co workers to strike up a connection. However, workplace romance can present big problems. Here’s the right and wrong ways to do it. Dating in the Workplace The problem of dating co-workers is what happens when the relationship doesn’t work out. Still, many people find themselves attracted to people at work—it’s actually an environment that’s similar to the college environment, which is the easiest place to date. Research shows that the workplace is where the majority of couples meet. There’s a reason for this: Unlike online dating, newspaper ads, singles events and speed dating, the office gives you a chance to actually get to know and even bond with a person before declaring your interest. The reason so many people date in the workplace, even though it’s often disastrous, is that it’s easy. Office Dating Do’s and Don’ts DO remember that you need your job, and act accordingly DON’T get involved with a married co-worker, no matter how much you like each other. If this person is cheating on a spouse, and you wind up being the new spouse, they’re likely to cheat on you. DO keep your in-office behavior businesslike: coworkers shouldn’t be able to tell that you’re dating. Meet outside the office for personal time. DON’T share information with your coworkers about your dating situation. You’ll become the subject of office gossip. DO understand that, if the relationship has problems, you may wind up having to change jobs. DON’T suddenly start dressing differently at work; it will alert your coworkers that something’s going on. DO remember your e-mails; phone calls, etc. are not private. If you must talk to your in-office inamorata, use your cell phone in a private space, where you can’t be overheard, or talk in code. Please remember that cell phones, email and social media may not be as private as they seem. Video chat spaces like Zoom may be recorded. DON’T allow yourself to be used by someone else in the office to get influence or information, and don’t cuddle up to your boss in hopes of a promotion or raise. Relationships based on greed and desire for advancement tend to end in disaster. Dr. Romance's Guide to Finding Love Today has many more guidelines to make modern dating fun, safe and successful. ©2020 Tina B. Tessina adapted from: Dr. Romance’s Guide to Finding Love Today Author Bio:Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 40 years’ experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 15 books in 17 languages, including Dr. Romance’s Guide to Finding Love Today; It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make After Forty; Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences, The Real 13th Step, How to Be Happy Partners: Working it Out Together and How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free. She writes the “Dr. Romance blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter. Online, she’s known as “Dr. Romance” and offers courses at GenerousMarriage.com. Dr. Tessina appears frequently on radio, TV, video and podcasts. She tweets @tinatessina.
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